Sunday, June 15, 2008

Huey got baby daddy problems

Happy Father's Day! We couldn't have timed this better if we tried. Today when I brought Armani into the barn and began grooming him, he told me something was wrong outside. Over the year we've been together, I've been learning his language. I can tell when he's worried, usually what it is, if he's happy or mischievous (his default state), if he's got an itch and where to scratch. I can even tell if he has to go potty and if it's number 1 or number 2. I'll even wipe Armani's behind if he needs it. What an extraordinary friendship! My non-horsey husband is not as impressed. My husband once asked if I'd do the same for him, "No honey, only best friends do that."

Anyway, Armani told me something was up outside. I assumed it was my instructor's Big-ol-Chestnut-Gelding, a free-range retired dressage horse, who's often digging into the flower garden. I, the eternal optimist, assumed it was nothing worth that much fuss. I even teased Big-Chestnut when he came into the barn to visit. Oh, I should have listened to Armani.

It wasn't until I brought Huey in to work later that things became clear, in that chair-flinging-on-Jerry-Springer sort of way. Huey had been turned out with Sweet-ol-Appy, a retired event/foxer, who's now a baby sitter for weanlings. With her was Armani's Lil-Bro. As soon as Huey came in, everyone outside in the pastures fell apart. Lil-Pretty-Face, an up-and-coming young dressage mare, was leaning over the fence from an adjoining pasture. She was nickering enticingly to Lil-Bro, who was naturally curious. Meanwhile, Sweet-Appy was hysterically trying to use her body to block Lil-Bro from leaving her, while neighing for Huey, her "stallion", to come to the rescue! Every time Lil-Bro got herded back by Sweet-Appy, Pretty-Face would kick Fizzy, her gelding pasture-mate, in frustration. And of course poor Fizzy was just totally oblivious to everything. He only wanted a drink of water, which was unfortunately located in the midst of the trouble.

Poor Huey had no mind for work, and it was all he could do to keep his attention on me as I tried to sooth him. Despite the hysteria around us, mom and I were overwhelmed by the sheer humor of Huey, a sweet little gelding, with hardly a stray hormone in his body, trying desperately to defend his "new lady" and his "baby" from "another woman". And the two ladies, bickering back and forth, with the Lil-Bro just innocently in the middle and Fizzy just wanting a swig-o-water, was all just too much. Baby-swiping! Talk about lady problems! And who knew Huey was baby daddy?! Sign this family up for Springer!

Fortunately, the pastures have been rotated and hopefully there will be peace on the farm tonight! Happy Father's Day!

No comments: