Thursday, March 26, 2009

Bumpuses

So one lovely afternoon, my barn owner was taking her new puppy for a walk while her daughter rode her pony along. I asked if Armani and I could join them. Along the way, we met up with a neighbor walking her Chihuahua. The Chihuahua was very well behaved, heeling and didn't even bark at our usual party. We all continued along down the road.
"Aha, the Bumpus hounds! Our hillbilly neighbors, the Bumpuses, had over 785 smelly hound dogs..." Ralphie from A Christmas Story




Every neighborhood has a Bumpus family. Your Bumpuses don't come to block parties and they aren't in the neighborhood clean-up committee. You might know them by their roaming pack of dogs, the slouching jacuzzi on the three legged porch, or their decomposing car garden. The black hole in their basement has exerted a gravitational pull, which has sucked in every lawn chair, tricycle, tire and gas grill in existence into a shuddering pile on their porch. They don't wave back when you call "Good Afternoon", rather they stare suspiciously from the foxholes in their rubble piles.

My husband frequently reminds me that I am a "snob". To which I always respond, "You want to see a real snob? Ask me, I grew up in Connecticut, I've known snobs!" My husband says we should let all the Bumpuses be. But honestly, he has a point. Unless there are ordinances, Bumpuses have a right to be magpies. And no one is required to be friendly. Your local Bumpus family branch may actually have lived in the neighborhood before you. Perhaps they resent the new gentrified homes. Bumpuses don't bother me too much. I will always say "Good Afternoon" and I don't mind if they don't answer. We keep a respectful distance. Usually...

That afternoon we passed a particular Bumpus house. Suddenly there was a crash as their 785 dogs broke through the front door. They spilled out into the yard, leaping, barking and howling at our odd walking party. Armani rolled his eyes nervously. I rolled my eyes exasperatedly. My barn owner told me not to worry as the Bumpuses had an invisible fence. We rode by and continued down the road until we decided to head back home. We approached the Bumpus house for a second pass. Two madly barking dogs leaped into the road. "Oh dear", I said "I guess the fence isn't working."

Those two dogs broke the dam. By twos and threes a tide of barking dogs flowed out into the road. There were brown ones and black ones, hairy ones and short-coated ones, mean ones and ones who just looked like they had tagged along for the party. They were all large however.

My barn owner's puppy whimpered and barked nervously, the Chihuahua froze in horror, the pony revved up her bucking engine. Armani snorted. "We are the biggest ones here," I observed "Let's play chicken, Mani."

I squeezed Armani forward. He took two steps and snorted. The black and white, hairy beast closest to us backed away. "You are doing fine, keep going." I squeezed again and he lurched forward on shaky legs. A large, yellow aggressive dog ran straight for us, teeth bared and snarling. "No!" I shouted, "Bad doggy! Go home!" I threatened it with my whip. Armani put his ears back quizzically. Had he done something wrong? I leaned forward and whispered, "Good boy, Mani!" The dogs kept their distance and parted for us to pass. I alternated between shouting "Bad dog!" and whispering "Good boy!". Our party safely made our way by. The Bumpus pack followed us down the road and through another neighbor's field before they slowly dispersed into the woods.

"Perhaps we should take up foxhunting..." I observed.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Equestrian ambassadors

The barn we board at is located in an upper-income second home neighborhood. I'm a bit out classed. But who would know that? I enjoy playing lady of the manor. On nice afternoons I ride down the road and through the fields. I royally wave at everyone who drives past. I admire neighbors' flower gardens. I greet joggers, dog walkers, and stroller pushers and chat about the lovely weather. I imagine Mr. Darcy might ride over the hill at any moment.

Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley ride over a hill. Cute stallions! And the horses aren't bad either! Eh hem, where was I?

It may sound pretentious, but I don't believe it is. I honestly enjoy socializing and the horses enjoy a break from "the usual". I also feel it is an important mission. The closest most people ever get to a horse is passing one on the road. My mount and I are "Equestrian Ambassadors". Most of the neighbors have given permission to the boarders to ride on their land. So I know that good stewardship necessary. I say "most" of the neighbors because there is always that one. Next post... meet the "Bumpuses".

Monday, March 23, 2009

What the Huey?


Huey and Armani seem to have switched roles for a week. It began when they got their yearly booster vaccinations. We also put Huey on a wormer "power pack" at our vet's recommendation. Vaccinations and power-packs are both reputed to make horses stiff and surly. True to that, our typically deadheaded Huey, has been cranky and acting out. We found that his back is stiff and sore, so he's been getting to take it easy.

Meanwhile, Armani has gamely "stepped up". He's been leading the way on the trail, bravely playing "chicken" with marauding dogs (deserving of a post itself), and trotting slowly like my mother prefers. I'll need to be careful that Armani doesn't decide he'd be better off as her horse...

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sooo...What's your story?

Grey Horse Matters and Glenshee Equestrian put up a quiz for horse people.

So, what is your story? Feel free to answer in comments. Or if you have your own blog let me know and I'll link you!

This has been fun reading the great stories people are sharing! Read more responses:
Solitaire Mare @ a Good Horse
Nor’dzin @ Ceffylau
Reddunappy @ There is a Horse In My Bubblebath
Dunappaloosa @ Small Farm Living

1. How old were you when you first started riding?
2. First horse ridden:
3. First horse trotted on:
4. First horse cantered on:
5. First Horse fallen off of:
6. Most recent horse fallen off of
7. Most terrifying fall:
8. First horse jumped with:

9. First horse who ran away with you:
10. First horse that scared the crap out of you:
11. First horse shown :!)
12. First horse to win a class with:
13. Do you/have you taken lessons:

14. First horse you ever rode bareback:
15. First horse trail ridden with:
16. Current Barn name:

17. Do you ride English or western?:
18. First Horse to place at a show with:
19. Ever been to horse camp?:

20. Ever been to a riding clinic?

21. Ridden sidesaddle?
22. First horse leased: 23. Last Horse Leased:
24. Highest ribbon in a show:
25. Ever been to an 'A' rated show?:
26. Ever competed in pony games/relay races?:
27. Ever fallen off at a show
28. Do you ride Hunter/Jumpers?: 29. Have you ever barrel raced?
30. Ever done pole bending?:
31. Favorite gait:
32. Ever cantered bareback?:
33. Have you ever done dressage?:
34. Have you ever evented?:

35. Have you ever mucked a stall?:
36. Ever been bucked off?:
37. Ever been on a horse that reared
38. Horses or ponies.
39. Do you wear a helmet?:
40. What's the highest you've jumped:
41. Have you ever ridden at night?:
42. Do you watch horsey television shows?:
43. Have you ever been seriously hurt/injured from a fall?:
44. Most falls in one lesson:
45. Do you ride in an arena/ring?:
46. Have you ever been trampled by a horse?:
47. Have you ever been bitten?:
48. Ever had your foot stepped on by a horse?:
49: Favorite riding moment:
50. Most fun horse you've ridden:


My Answers!

1. How old were you when you first started riding?
I'm not actually sure. I think I was between 5 and 10 when I started taking lessons. I really wanted to ride as far back as I can remember. My best friend next door started taking lessons at a local children's hunter barn. We usually did everything together, but my parents couldn't afford lessons for me. One morning a hand written "gift certificate" appeared in our mail, good for a few riding lessons with my friend. More gift certificates appeared and eventually I was big enough to "help out" a little around the barn for more lessons. I never did get anyone to admit to being my "anonymous benefactor" but I have my suspicions!

2. First horse ridden:
"Jeff" the pony at a pony ride. I was under 5.
3. First horse trotted on:
"Treasure Chest" a neighbor's gray gelding. She rode western. I begged for a ride and she threw me in front of her. We trotted down the street and back.
4. First horse cantered on:
"Tuffy" a chestnut gelding around 20 years old at that time, at the children's hunter barn.
5. First Horse fallen off of:
I can't actually remember. It was pretty early on I'm sure. I've had unusually good luck in that I've fallen off a lot but tend to bounce and roll. I've never been seriously hurt.
6. Most recent horse fallen off of:
I think that would be my instructor's retired FEI horse. It was my fault entirely. I ended up rolling the wrong way and was underneath him. He stepped on my left thigh. I had an impressive black horseshoe-print and a limp for a month. I had a big vacation planned involving a lot of walking. Naturally I stubbornly stuck to my plans. I got back and my husband dragged me to the doctor's who told me that I'd hair-line cracked my thigh and should have come in a month ago. Oh well, too late then.

7. Most terrifying fall:
I'm not sure. In my youth (not that I'm so very old now) I didn't feel fear and behaved accordingly. But I had some colorful spills. Probably among the best was getting my foot through a stirrup and being dragged toward the highway. I still have scars from that. Or perhaps when I went off over a cross country jump at a clinic. I don't actually remember that one though because I had partial memory loss due to the bonk on my head. But I'm sure my mother remembers watching!
8. First horse jumped with:
"Cameo" a retired TB jumper, also at the children's hunter barn. She was a cranky old gray mare with stiff knees but I really liked her a lot. I suppose that was foretelling. I have a soft spot for crabby horses.
9. First horse who ran away with you:
Hasn't happened yet. Still looking for that one. If you see them, send them my way!
10. First horse that scared the crap out of you:
My horse, Armani. Being my first horse as an "adult" and my first very young horse, I feel very responsible for his upbringing. I blogged about an incident here. And it is not nearly as colorful as my youthful exploits. My younger self would laugh and at my cautious self today.
11. First horse shown :
"Samantha" a petite, coarse TB who I free leased for a year. We showed 4H. She was a fantastic horse. Very crabby, very strong heats, but so unflappable and willing for a youth rider. Her owner asked if we wanted to buy her after the lease. Retrospectively I think we should have. But at the time I foolishly told my parents I wanted a bigger, flashier horse.
12. First horse to win a class with:
"Dreamweaver" the OTTB I owned later. She was bigger and flashier but I don't think she enjoyed being a teenager mount. She'd been a children's hunter. When I went to college she went back to being a children's hunter. I heard later that she did very, very well.
13. Do you/have you taken lessons:
Yes, my whole life thus far - except for about 5 years around college when I was out of the saddle altogether.

14. First horse you ever rode bareback:
Samantha
15. First horse trail ridden with:
I can't remember
16. Current Barn name:
I board at Kaleidoscope Farm. Not set up at home.

17. Do you ride English or western?:
English although I've tried western a few times.
18. First Horse to place at a show with:
Samantha
19. Ever been to horse camp?:
Yes, "Academy on Horseback" in the summers back in CT with my best friend. Boy was I out of my socio-economic class!
20. Ever been to a riding clinic?
Yes
21. Ridden sidesaddle?
Not for real, no.
22. First horse leased:
Samantha
23. Last Horse Leased:
I sort of un-officially leased my instructor's retired FEI horse for a bit.
24. Highest ribbon in a show:
Blue
25. Ever been to an 'A' rated show?:
No, that's a hunter thing right? Actually I am just getting in to showing now as a grown up.
26. Ever competed in pony games/relay races?:
Oh yes! I love games. I did them in 4H.
27. Ever fallen off at a show
I don't think I have.
28. Do you ride Hunter/Jumpers?:
Just as a kid.
29. Have you ever barrel raced?
No
30. Ever done pole bending?:
In 4H
31. Favorite gait:
Canter
32. Ever cantered bareback?:
Yes
33. Have you ever done dressage?:
Yes, that's mostly what I do now for the last few years.
34. Have you ever evented?:
No. I did 4H clinics but never competed.
35. Have you ever mucked a stall?:
Oh goodness, yes.
36. Ever been bucked off?:
Yes
37. Ever been on a horse that reared
Yes
38. Horses or ponies.
Ponies!
39. Do you wear a helmet?:
Always
40. What's the highest you've jumped:
Not sure. Around 4 feet or a bit under. Probably more like 3 - 3.5 feet? They might have grown in my memory. It would have been years ago.
41. Have you ever ridden at night?:
Yes, lots indoors or under lights. Not too much outside though.
42. Do you watch horsey television shows?:
Jockeys, Animal Cops, sometimes horse programs on RFD-TV (with some dread)
43. Have you ever been seriously hurt/injured from a fall?:
Not too badly no, see answers above.
44. Most falls in one lesson:
I'm not sure, but more than 3 I'd guess. It would have been over the jumps I just mentioned. The crashes probably involved a combination of lack of stirrups, hands over the head, and reckless speeding.
45. Do you ride in an arena/ring?:
About 4-5 days a week in the winter. The other days outside. I'm outside more in summer.
46. Have you ever been trampled by a horse?:
Yes, but unintentionally. See #6. I mean he didn't intend to. I'm pretty sure no one intends to be trampled...
47. Have you ever been bitten?:
Plenty. Armani had a biting problem when I got him. He's cured now, but I'm always careful.
48. Ever had your foot stepped on by a horse?:
All the stinking time!
49: Favorite riding moment:
I couldn't pick. One that comes to mind was with Dreamweaver. We were at a hunter-over-fences class in the pouring rain. They should have paused it. But anyway, she slipped badly between fences. I lost both stirrups and some rein. I steered her over the remained 2 fences like that. We got fourth place. I'm not sure how scoring works, but I guess we didn't look good. But a judge told me later I was the only clear round. I was pretty proud.
50. Most fun horse you've ridden:
Easily my "Armani". He is the most stubborn, opinionated, vociferous, and engaging horse I've ridden. He's rather talented but it is challenging to bring out his best. Like I said, I seem to like them crabby.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Nightmares

"Want to move to Key West?"

"Hmm?" My husband woke up.

"It's a canal front, gutted, fixer upper. Bank owned. I'll go put a bid on it, just say the word."

"Huh?" he rolled over. "What is?"

"The house is. I have family there you know. Well it's on Saddlebunch Keys actually. 75 by 75 lot. I saw it online today on my lunch break."

"What about horses?" he asked. I rolled over and sighed. "What's wrong?" I made grumbling noises in protest until he pressed me further.

"I don't know... Sometimes... Sometimes I think it'd be easier without them", I added, "I mean on you."

"I don't mind. And you'd be sad without them."

"Well and sometimes... Sometimes I... I get... worried. About..."

"About?"

"About... riding, showing. All that time I spend. And money. But..."

"But?"

"You know... I never... admit when I'm... scared. What if I fail? Maybe it'd be better to go to Key West. We could get a great deal on that house and fix it up." My husband made a grunt of disbelief. "Well... I could sit on the beach, drink margaritas while you fix it up. Anyway, maybe it'd be easier. We could get easier jobs, live for the moment, forget horses." I paused. "I want to succeed. But maybe it'd be easier if I don't even try."

"Of course you are going to succeed." He said with certainty.

"I am? How do you know?"

"You take horses seriously. It is more than just a hobby. "

"Ya, I guess." I said.

"All I heard about in college was 'horses this' and 'horses that'. You ride every day. You take lots of lessons. You are always at the barn. You have a high level instructor," my normally non-communicative husband explained, "and a lot of friends. Weren't you just telling me how good your horses are? Other people are always trying to buy them." Yes, I've been known to tell tall-tales, I thought. But he continued, "You are completely set up to succeed. I know you will. You are the bravest person I know. I believe in you." He sounded completely serious.

"Oh?" I said more brightly. I was suddenly glad I brought it up.

He gave me a hug and yawned. "But success will have to wait. Right now I'd like to get to sleep."

Key West will have to wait too, I thought.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Economic stimulus, the equestrian way


I did a little shopping a few weeks ago. I'm getting ready for the upcoming show season. It isn't that I'm made out of money. It all started with a hat...

I'm planning to drag Huey out to the shows this year with Armani. So my mother insisted on dragging me to the tack store's "Spring Sale" so I could buy a new helmet. Note, that I said I had to buy a new show helmet - because this hunter green plastic helmet, pictured left, would "embarrass Huey". Funny, it didn't embarrass Armani all last show season.

I first picked out wormer. My whip and gloves are busted. So I rummaged for a new whip and gloves in the clearance bin. Meanwhile my mother called to me from the hat display. She had wrangled 3 sales ladies who spent at least 20 minutes popping helmets on and off my head. Of course the helmet display was next to the boot display. It was then I was informed that my old $80 special field boots might also be embarrassing to Huey's dignity.

I found a pair of $120 dress boots on sale, in my size. They fit fairly well. Well enough for "on sale". My mother picked out nearly $400 boots just so I could "try them on". Naturally I "looked more professional" in those. They fit perfectly. I put them back though, "They shouldn't be judging me by my boots." I put the $120 pair back on...

"You aren't thinking of wearing those?" My instructor suddenly walked up to us, with another couple of my horse lady friends. Figures they couldn't resist the sale either. The ladies gathered around. "How about these? They'd look very professional!" My instructor handed me back the $400 pair. My mother agreed. The ladies agreed.

As I put them back on, I was thinking of some form of protest: Armani would prefer I spend $400 on carrots, perhaps $400 would be better spent taking all the judges I can find out to dinner, I might want buy 200 Power Ball tickets and strike it rich... Fortunately, one of the ladies called for an opinion from the jacket section.

I was alone.

I slipped the $120 pair back into my cart.

Sorry Mom.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Work hard, play hard

This weekend saw Armani and I working hard and playing hard. I attended one dinner party, hosted another, had a house guest snowed in with me, and spent many hours at the barn.

I was planning to host a dinner party for coworkers and spouses on Saturday. As I was house cleaning Thursday my best friend (and fellow equestrian) called from Connecticut. "Hey, I have some free time this weekend! I'm coming up to visit!" No problem, I thought. My house will be clean anyway. And she met many of my coworkers at my wedding.

I told my barn owner my friend would be visiting. "Oh, I'm having a pot-luck dinner party Friday. You two are invited!" No problem, I thought. I'll be cooking anyway for Saturday's party. What's another dish?

At work, we were talking about Saturday's party. "I can't get a babysitter," said the mother of a 4 year old boy, "so I won't be able to come." Everyone was disappointed. We agreed none of us would mind if he came. No problem, I thought. There will be enough people there anyway.

Friday we watched the Olympic dressage highlights with other horse ladies and ate rich treats. When we got home, I finished organizing my house. Saturday morning I prepped teriyaki, for the timid, and marbella skewers, for the brave. (See photo and recipe. I made skewers rather than whole chicken.) Then my friend, my mother, and I went to the barn. When I got home I showered and changed into a hostess outfit. Then I made salad. My friend made brownies. The other guests started arriving and I cooked the skewers and heated bread and oil for dipping. Everything went wonderfully but I slept well that night.

Sunday morning a major snow storm was brewing. No problem, I thought. I invited my friend to stay longer. We went back to the barn. We rode in the ring. But as we were untacking, we were invited to go on a trail ride. My barn owner offered another horse to my friend. "Well, Armani. You can just work twice." I announced. Armani gave me a look as I put his bridle back on. "It's no problem, Armani. I hadn't even taken your saddle off yet."

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Horse chiropractor: progress update


Observations and conclusions after a visit from the horse back doc

As I mentioned in the original post, I'm skeptical by nature. So I did not expect to feel any difference in Huey or Armani after their visit from the chiropractor.

But I felt a difference the first time I sat on each of them. Huey felt much softer to ride. He also picked up his correct canter leads without trouble. Armani was a little subtler. He felt more springy and rounder over his back. He reached for the contact without fuss. My instructor sat on each of them while I was at work last week. She was so excited she called me that evening to discuss.

I've ridden each a number of times since and I still feel the difference. I'm beginning to conclude that some aspect of the chiropractic visit was beneficial. Either realigning the joints, or the tissue work and relaxation, or most likely all of that together. I would be open to trying it again.